Warmth and Intelligence!

By Lionel Ketchian 


I think that warmth and intelligence are an interesting combination of words. I have not heard them mentioned together very often. Together, they offer a different perspective on living life. Of course we all want to do the intelligent thing in life and at the very least, we don't want to look like we are clueless about what to do. Bertrand Russell said, "The main thing needed to make men happy is intelligence."

My definition of happiness is:  

an inner state of well being that enables you to profit from your highest thoughts, intelligence, wisdom, awareness, common sense, emotions, health, and spiritual values. What happens when we look at intelligence with the added aspect of warmth to it? I think that being a warm person is a very important trait to have in life.

I am sure you have dealt with people that seem to be cold and non-caring. Sometimes people are referred to as cold hearted, or are described as being cold and distant. They seem cold and distant to your needs. They may appear to be indifferent to what you are saying or just not connected to you at all. How does that make you feel? It does not make you feel warm and fuzzy, right? No, it doesn't make you feel good.

Daniel Goleman the author of Emotional Intelligence, has said, "Self-awareness--recognizing a feeling as it happens--is the keystone of emotional intelligence.  


The ability to monitor feelings from moment to moment is crucial to psychological insight and self-understanding. An inability to notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy. People with a greater certainty about their feelings are better pilots of their lives, having a surer sense of how they really feel about personal decisions from whom to marry to what job to take."  


I think that getting along with others is part of our intelligence. It may be our emotional intelligence, but it is all about how smart we are. Why don't we learn to warm up more?  


Let's make it our business to become a little more warm and friendly. I think it will make you appear smarter and help you become more accepted by other people as well. Let's go practice being warm and intelligent by being warm and friendly, starting now! 


Ten years ago, we were privileged to enjoy a presentation by Sarah Shapiro, the daughter of the beloved and famous, Norman Cousins at our Fairfield Happiness Club. Sarah lives in Israel and was visiting our group to meet with us and speak about her father. Sarah is an author and her most recent books are Wish I Were Here, and A Gift Passed Along, (Artscroll.) Sarah


Sarah has her first meeting of the JAFFA GATE, ISRAEL MARCIE'S HAPPINESS CLUB on July 26, 2010. 

Marcie is a young woman who has been a quadriplegic for the past four years, ever since a failed operation for a blood clot left her paralyzed in all but three of her fingers, and unable to speak. Marcie lives in a hospice. Almost everyone else there has terminal illnesses, Marcie does not. She needs total health care due to her condition. Although Marcie can't talk, she radiates a positive way of being. Her mind was unaffected and her ability to maintain an inner equilibrium and a capacity for joy is a thing of wonder.


At Sahra's first meeting, she asked Marcie what thoughts enable her to go on, and she replied (she spells out words by pointing to letters on an alphabet board) 1) that she doesn't think about what she's missing
2) that it could be worse, and 3) that she is not alone. Marcie suggested that every day at 4:00 PM (the hour they meet on Mondays) we should all simultaneously be happy for one whole minute.


Sarah is the daughter of Norman Cousins (June 24, 1915 - November 30, 1990) who was an American political journalist, the author of many books, a professor, and a world peace advocate.  


Norman was well know for his book: Anatomy of an Illness As Perceived by the Patient. 


Norman Cousins knew happiness very well and he knew it at a very deep level. "Our frustrations also arise from the mistaken belief that the complexities of life preclude happiness -- that life is something from which we must flee to be happy." These words of Norman Cousins show the magnitude of his awareness of happiness.  


Norman also said, "Life is an adventure in forgiveness." 

Get connected, and step out with joy in your life! Looking forward to seeing you. As Norman Cousins said: "Illness is not a laughing matter. Perhaps it ought to be. Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves
your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectations."